Monday, August 15, 2005
Defeat
Seeing a title like that above, you usually expect the person writing one of these damn blogs to ramble about how they lost their girlfriend or about how life sucks. I think that when someone admits defeat rather than lets it overwhelm them, it's usually a victory of sorts. Unless they get their head cut off.
Such decapitation happened tonight, but only in a fictional context. Tonight I saw an amusing play put on by my friend Chris, and while it wasn't a flop, it reminded me of my own failures over the years. It was probably just the punk-rock, from-scratch ethic that his troupe displayed. It was a nice thing to see on a Sunday, damn it.
In theater there is less to lose than in film, both money-wise and reputation-wise. I realized tonight that I probably should have just put on a show with one of my stories somewhere on a stage. Unfortunately 18-year-old idealism and over-ambition made me grab a video camera, and I went too far with my own money and the time of other people. Now I have a weird-looking relic of half-realized stories on digital video, and another on hi-def unedited and unused. And I finally lost that damn idealism.
I don't think about it very often. Certainly not every day. I've moved on.
I'm moving on from many things these days..
Such decapitation happened tonight, but only in a fictional context. Tonight I saw an amusing play put on by my friend Chris, and while it wasn't a flop, it reminded me of my own failures over the years. It was probably just the punk-rock, from-scratch ethic that his troupe displayed. It was a nice thing to see on a Sunday, damn it.
In theater there is less to lose than in film, both money-wise and reputation-wise. I realized tonight that I probably should have just put on a show with one of my stories somewhere on a stage. Unfortunately 18-year-old idealism and over-ambition made me grab a video camera, and I went too far with my own money and the time of other people. Now I have a weird-looking relic of half-realized stories on digital video, and another on hi-def unedited and unused. And I finally lost that damn idealism.
I don't think about it very often. Certainly not every day. I've moved on.
I'm moving on from many things these days..
Jean-Louis 12:28 AM