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The last load of dishes awaits me at home. The end month or two of school was a terrible time for housecleaning. So I left some of them there for weeks. Ugh, it was bad. I mean, they were rinsed, but it was just gross. Now they are sparkly clean, each dish double soaked and obsessively scrubbed. And dried on the rack.
I've tried to return some order to my daily life, at the expense of staying up until four or six every day. Man I'm tired. Haven't been drinking enough water either. Okay, so maybe not so orderly, yet.
I'm commandeering the shop from Tuesday to Tuesday this week and next. I'm slightly nervous but actually excited in a way. I'll get to meet most of our clients. I'll get to fill up the racks with the issues. Yeah. Man I love the store.
Chili ramen.

Something's unusual.

Today I woke up and missed Rhonda. I have to go to bed earlier.

When people ask me what The Police remind me of, I don't say the 1980's necessarily. It reminds me of St. Louis Park. Going back from my grandmother's house many weekends... always Sunday night, always with The Police or Sting playing on the radio. From the mid-80's to the mid-90's, always the same thing.

Everyone around me seems to be sick, unhappy, having surgery, unemployed, or tired. And meanwhile, I'm really happy. It's usually this way, it is kind of frustrated. Oh, they seem to be silent too in farawayness.

It's so green outside. Cloudy and humid but cool. There is going to be something beautiful about the nights this summer, I think.

I wish that there was a voodoo doll that you could use to make others feel better.

Okay, so that may put some dirty thoughts into your mind! You sick bastard! I meant that, uh.. maybe you could give it antibiotics or painkillers? Right? That reminds me of those scary "feed them with the disappearing spoon" baby dolls. Instead you give your doll drugs though. Like tic-tacs. Wait, I would just eat all the tic-tacs.

Congratulations on graduating, anyone who graduated. Or will. I'm not going to any parties.

The wind picked up. It's so lovely out there, partly clouded and such. This has been my favorite Spring of the past five, six even. Very erratic.

Peaceful, but surrounded by complaining and moping. Listening to grandma repeatedly. Curious at the surreal passing of time.. I wonder if the old satellites will ever pass by or collide again?

Udon, the gentleman's Ramen.
So happy today. Last night was a feast at Tom's - watermelon, strawberries, brie, bread, waffle fries, and mushrooms. Maybe it was the lack of fruit in my diet being remedied, but I feel awfully good today. Actually no, I believe that it was hanging out with Tom.. frank talking, Worms, and all..

This cheap Udon reminds me of Em's house. She's still in Chengdu. Maybe she's hugging a Panda or seeing the Leshan Buddha. Actually right now.. hmm... sleeping would be my guess.

Metal dude stopped by, with a DVD this time. Hey metal dude.
Reminds me of Cervantes, "COME with me to HELLLL!!!"

Wagner's birthday.

Sometimes you just have to snap out of your funk. Dude, this time it took the hilarious antics of a little kid talking about a Human Torch costume to do it for me. Bam! I deleted that person from my list. Ach, that was needed.
He's just sitting there on the stool, staring at a little box with a minimates Johnny Storm in it.

As promised:

Miyumi's mouth mollifies
with smoothest Standard
not loves on him, she loves
she? is Texan but not southern

she'll arise at five to fly
seventeen hundred
kilometres, weekend
trip. a stage measured in degrees

Item, to the awkward spy
(from my living will)
my sake set, also
more: a bright blue winter hat

gentlemen watch fruits raining
under umbrellas
another sweet one? indeed
you: hard to catch falling fast

Tonight was an evening of failure. I'm here at home, 5:35AM, just waiting for an email. I thought that I'd try to go out and meet some interesting new people. I met new people. My interest turned to some visions that I was having in my misery.

First, I didn't get to listen to Jackie's Tango music! I wasn't able to get home and to her mini-concert in time. The nice lady gave me a ride to the Coffman Union area. There, I walked to a mysterious house.

The beginning act of this party was interesting. I danced with a Japanese Texan to Enjoy the Silence. That was beautiful. After a few interesting conversations, I heard The Faint come on with "The Concert". I had some improvisational dance fun with two boys who followed my moves. Well, let's just say that they perfected my demonstrated dance... my rhythm needs work.

Then the friend that I was coming to see arrived, and I was assuredly disappointed. I meandered and joked but all was pointless, all was lame lame lame. I wanted to sleep. Eventually, escape. and barely too. I've been Mapquesting two very opposite places on the earth, floating back and forth with my mouse clicks, listening to Interpol and chilling out. Water flows down my parched throat.

Tonight I saw bloated, pitiful fat lying on the sidewalks. Tomorrow I am going to think of how to better avoid such objects.

Yesterday earthquake dreams, today visitation interrupted. 8 track (8PM-2AM) to 1 track (2AM-4PM) to 8 track (4PM+). Tonight's adventures will bring us to "Hardly Legible Green Address" land. After the band plays, there will be a random someone's 21st birthday. "My friend knows your friend's roommate".. is usually a recipe for disaster. And what was this about a "scene". What the hell is a scene? I have no scene!

But chin up anyway. My neck hurts! Meth addict woman stole comics today. Her poor kids ruined a few.

There is a failure to admit. I didn't have the chance today. I was just about to.

Today started at 2PM. I slept in quite a bit with a nightmare. My apartment crumbled in an earthquake when I was at work in this vision... When I went back to try and salvage my things, I was arrested. Then they took me to a forced labor camp. I escaped enroute with Jeff, some random guy who I met briefly and sat next to at Star Wars, and we escaped enroute to the detention center in Plymouth.

In a dream.

Upon waking, I got a mysterious call from St. Paul. Then I went to eat a burrito and see Tavia. I returned her misplaced rings, and she was baking a cake. I was going to a show tonight and she found out..

Tavia came with and we went to the Triple Rock to see the Knotwells, an interesting and sweet band. It was madly fun. I came unprepared for such goodness. In this surprise I danced quite a bit, a bottle was broken on the floor, and I ran into some people from the past. Some were from the Green Party. I had a short stint with them in 2002. Cam Gordon was there stumping between groups.

After Tavia left, there was a discussion about the gender of my shirt. I believe that it is a part of the fourth gender. 3/4 of a Pabst Blue Ribbon, and I decided to leave.

Oh yes, it's Tom's birthday Friday.

I managed to get three A's (Logic, Writing, and Photography) and a B+ (French), but more importantly to understand everything in those classes, this semester. It feels so good to have actually succeeded at something like this I guess. Tuesday to yesterday I chilled out though, playing random video games at Derek's and proving that Xianghua is the bomb. Oh yes, and there was a beautiful return to Super Dodgeball. We had 6 games in a pool, two 3 vs. 3, with some random kid in the NE Johnson area joining in. And a nice audience that was sucked up from a nearby baseball game.

The total list of participants were America, the Dominican Republic, France, "Little" Italy, Slovakia, and Vatican City. I had a deliciously nostalgic meal of cheesaritos at the nearby Taco Bell afterwards. Nothing to worry about or doubt these past few days, I was just content.

I've been finding Posposel's Predicate Logic book to be a little difficult to whip through halfway through, so it will end up being a hefty amount of summer reading. Dostoevsky sits here and tempts me like chocolates. Mmm. I think that I'll have one.

"Penetration! Penetration!.." - Not the real words to the song... (2+2=5)

Fuzzy digital noise beauty. 2:01AM CST.

Coffee tomorrow, join us old church women at 8:30AM CST.

Alas, Ems shot off on a plane to China, and I'm here eating yam soba noodles alone. Staple food number one. My mysteriously busy phone cleared up and I've gotten calls from everyone tonight. I wonder.

But like the Scarlet Witch it's a bloody Cunningham inspired reality shift. AAA day today. This is oddly enough the first time in 10 years that I've gotten three A's. It's bizarre. The slack has disappeared. Brag.

My mind is in some sort of bizarre Japanese goth apple garden, with light tubes and androgynous Man Ray subjects. Flourescent mixed with dirt and Loire. I have free license with this vanilla spray too, so it can be garden of the bean's smell. Carelessness future but a few metal marbles falling from the shelf too, "..and on and on and on.."

LKASMHJ?

But let's make a quick split. Over to the pyrocreamer lab in the basement. "I don't wanna go down to the basement?" you say? Too bad. Oh fuck you. I'll go alone. And what will I find down there? The purple goddess. They don't make themselves like they used to. Well, they could never make themselves like that. Because the purple goddess was never like them. Her blood tasted like the watery syrup in a can of preserved fruit. It was wonderful. She was named after the most holy of all donuts. Her wit was bolder than a rubber mallet, sharper than the edge of printer paper. It was beautiful, what you could do at about 7:00AM CST on the corner of 44th and Central Ave NE with her.

Back to the news bulletin, tales of train hopping, and I don't mind. The more people that leave the Hole, the better, damn it. My life is so much better now than it was back there. It's no wonder that people thought I was always on narcotics, it was a natural reaction to the piece of shit. Nearly anyone connected to the Hole immediately brings some sort of annoying aura with them, to me at least. But a few of them will follow me, and try to search me up on the directory. Those bastards.

Yeah, Soylent B. was funny in his last posting though, and I can't help but remember the first time that I saw A Clockwork Orange over at his place. Man, he lived by where this weird British-looking kid named Ryan did when I was young. Ryan, who lived by the food shelf, where my mother used to send me. He had a train set. Damn kid. His parents moved away because they seemed rich. He always looked like the blonde gay guy on Are You Being Served?. Grant Morrison would have a field day with that statement. He'd order Frank Q. to draw some mad flashback about that whole thing, and juxtapose it with me at a Chinese restaurant like S.C. whipping up phallus mushrooms or chow fun in black bean sauce. All of my pants are going to be filled with ghost legs, and then they will walk into the closet and climb into hangars. Only when I sleep.

Yesterday I finished my FAFSA, turned in my scholarship apps, and sighed.

And then it was off to party. In the elf village of the witch tower (seriously) in Prospect Park. There I found a prospective roommate named Eden. I really wouldn't mind living there, especially in a building with a scarlet entryway.

After several cold brews, it was apparent that.. gave a berry one to Vlagina, driven home, came back... slept on the floor..

Abridged:

"Every [hu]man is more than just [them]self; [t]he[y] also represent[] the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world's phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again." - Hermann Hesse, Demian, pc'abridged by me.

Okay, done. French final.... finished. Phew.

NO NO, wait! Financial Aid, SCHOLARSHIPS, one year plan, tour guide job.. work tomorrow AHHHHH!!!!!!

Stopped in my tracks...

I'm going to go home and wash off. I've got to move some more of my clutter around. But banks, prints, dental bills, finals, acquaintances.. all worries stopped in a few hallucinated moments.

Sigh. And mint does work on my stomach. Go figure.

"Lip my stockings!" - Lost In Translation

Pigtails? Okay, so that was just at the start of that conceptual image being formed. I swear that I have burned any thought of them from my head. Logic quizzes. Yes, I enjoy logic. I seriously do. I am so sad about logic class ending!!! Mr. Chung is still the best. But now I am on my own to explore predicate logic.. and eventually to I hope to traverse the mountains of metatheory. On the Discovery Channel, I know... Still, black stockings, black gloves, those are not for the discovery channel. Those are part of my transvestite outfit. I'm just digging a hole further and further. I am just sucking down this flat 7up hoping for a sugar rush.

YOU?!?!?! YOU paper. Damn YOU! Go in bag!

GC arrests, people in and out of classes, and a thin wallet indicate the end of the semester.

Last night I rode with Death in the '87 Celebrity to pick up my retro brown couch. It is very long. It just sort of sits there with its chocolate color, looking at you in a way, talking to you. "Hullo. I'm your new couch. I wish that I had more fucking space."

"Write it down..." Mr. Chung said. Yes I must lay out my path, dragon dragon squirrel. I don't know. Art = contaminated. Literature = what you need is accessible, what you see on the shelves is redundant. Sciences = disciplined. Economics and Business = competitive. Philosophy and Communications Studies = academic.

Boom boom. I am printing more photos, until that sad instant when I run out of paper. I will have to be careful and precise. Oh yes, rent is due as well today. 05/05/05.

Eighteen hundred and froze to death.

Actually, it's 2005, and just under 40 degrees. During the day. In May.

I ate cole slaw and Inari. The latter is my new staple take out food I think. Cheap and fulfilling. Inari sexually arouses me. Its roundness is exciting.

Mix and match: a pre-millenium church lock-in met March and April mania in a dream. Many different people altogether and it felt quite real. I treat it as if it happened, it was that vivid. I am pleased with the imaginary.